Saturday, 21 November 2009

One kick too far...

I was doing great with being back on track. Staying the same at WI had given me just enough of a kick up the bum to get myself in gear.
But then came class- we're doing a video-performance module at the moment, and I had to watch myself on screen. It made me cry. A lot. I managed not to actually cry in lesson but I was GUTTED and cried all the way home.
I looked atrocious.
Even if the camera adds 10lb I had to have had about 20 cameras on me to excuse the way I looked.
Watching it my mind was screaming'STOP EATING FATSO', but when I got in from class I was physically hungry and so told myself I could eat some tea and stay on track....
fool.
Pretty much devoured the cupboard.
I've said it before and I've said it again- I CANNOT KEEP SNACK FOODS IN THE HOUSE.
Its just too dangerous for me.
Trying hard to get back on track now.
Yet again, here's my line
_________________________________________________________________________
fresh start.
again.

2 comments:

  1. Awwww. Don't be so hard on yourself. I bet you look much better than what your critical eyes are seeing. Even so, so what. You're doing what you need to do and doing great things for yourself. That's beautiful. Mull that over and let that fill you up.

    It's a process. We've a lot to learn and we're not always quick about it. Patience. You'll get there.

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  2. thanks antgirl :)
    patience is indeed something i need to get to grips with.

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